12 weeks left

Its a common saying that if life throws lemon at you make lemonade. Basically, a sour juice can be converted into a nice drink. I think a little differently. I think its the denial stage from the five stages of grief explained by Elisabeth Kubler Ross.We should face the things that come to us as is. It is because not every time we will have the ingredients to do that and if we are not used to accepting the sour juice we are basically not handling the situation well. Lets talk about an example here. Ms. X went for a gynecology appointment and finds out that the pap smear is not regular. She goes through tests and now docs think that she might have uterine cancer. She is in denial and doesn't share it with anyone because she knows that it will be nothing. She stays "positive". She goes into the fantasy land which is cancer free and thinks nothing can happen to her, tests are false positives all the time, doesn't want to go to a oncologist to get the diagnosis but after she is in a lot of pain she finally goes to the doc. and at this time there is point of no return. So if she would have consulted the doctor the first time the doctors thought that with chemo and radiation they might have been able to help the vast spread of cancer. She worked on the lemonade theory. I think every day in our lives we come up with situations that are not in our favor or are not the way we thought they will be. Sugar coating and being positive about situations is good but we need to face reality. Reality is not always sweet or positive. When I was going through the bad patch of my life I used to hear that "you were protected" something good will come your way, there is a reason for everything, he was not good enough for you but if I would have married him, the same people would have a totally different perspective. What it did for me was it kept on giving me false hopes of a perfect life. From what I was hearing I believed that now life will be perfect because of what I went through. There were blinders on my eye. Four and a half years have passed if that was the case I should have been with the perfect guy in the perfect marriage.
I realized it very recently that this is wrong, optimism is good but false hopes are like metastasized cancer, no point of return. What I needed to do was face the problem and accept the fact that  life is giving me a hurdle. I have to face all my fears and rejections as the sour juice and learn from it. Only when you taste the sourness you learn that how it can make other things in life flavorful, not overpower its original taste by adding numerous ingredients. We have to learn from harsh experiences that how to deal with a situation bravely. I face my fears, i dont hide behind false hopes. It is what it is. Until i am ready to face my fear I wont be able to grow. Knowing how to look straight in the eye of a problem will teach me how to deal with it. When anything happens we tend to discuss the issue, when in reality we should look at the solution of solving that problem. Once we start facing our fears and start finding solutions we will be golden. It will teach us how to take care of us even when life is a horrible hurricane.

 One of my biggest fear is being alone and dealing with things on my own without any family around me. I will be all by myself in a different continent, different country for 38 days. I will not know anyone and will have to take care of things on my own. Am I ready to explore the beautiful country? 

                                                                     YES!! I am...